Essay 4 Workshop

Alex Robinson

Lauren Servais

English 100

9 December 2010

Picture yourself working as a young child to pay off your parent’s debt.  Giving your all ten hours a day, six days a week, only to give all of your hard earned money away for a reason that you feel is unreasonable.  After struggling for two years to get out of the financial hole that you were born into; realizing that those two years of work hadn’t been to pay off the $6,000 in debt at all, rather it was just to help your family survive.  Family or cultural values should be held high, but an individual’s freedom is always more important.

            In Japanese culture at the time, the oldest boys in the family had a duty of repaying all of his parent’s debt before starting a life of his own.  Mr. Oyama was a very filial son.  That is why he ended up in the situation he was in, with a staggering $6,000 in debt and nothing but work to look forward to for the rest of his life.  Since Mr. Oyama was trapped in this debt, he and his wife had no choice but to expect their sons Toshio and Kiyoshi to do the same he did, be filial, and work for their parent’s until there was enough money to repay the entire debt.

            In the depression era everyone worked for their family’s well being.  For the Japanese-Americans in Hawaii, that meant breaking your back on the plantation’s fields for pennies an hour.  The families that were forced to do this barely made enough money to survive; with all of the expenses from the plantation owned store, the rent due to the plantation, and paying for some children to go to high school or college, the families were stuck.  This meant that the older boys in the families were forced to stay on the plantation to work for the family to survive.  Unlike America’s culture though, the Japanese boys were expected to stay with the family, putting their lives on hold until their family’s debt was completely paid off.

            Mr. and Mrs. Oyama’s culture and expectations of the boys made it so they had no choice but to do as they were told.  Toshio didn’t seem to lose any sleep over the fact that he was a rebel and refused to live by all of his parent’s expectations or conform to Japan’s culture.  Unlike his parents, Toshio realized what it meant to be an American, and he was very proud that he was one.  He knew he shouldn’t have been overwhelmed by the debt that his parents accumulated over the years.  Instead of totally disobeying them though, he decides to deal with their debt the best he can and makes the decision to be the first one in the family to change the trend, and have an obligation to his child, instead of putting the obligation on the child. 

            Being born and raised in the United States, Toshio and Kiyoshi learned of freedoms which were not understood by their parents who were raised in Japan.  Freedoms which made Toshio’s mind run wild with thoughts and feelings that made his mother cry when he expressed them.  Toshio understood what it meant to be filial and didn’t like it one bit; he knew that is why his father was in the situation he was in, and felt it was ridiculous that he was expected to repay his parent’s debt just so he could end up in the same situation as his father.

            Toshio and Kiyoshi were both smart young men, capable of making anything of themselves had they been afforded the opportunity to put their brains to work.  This could have been the thing that turned the tides of their family’s fortunes.  Had the family given them four to six years to take a break from repaying the debt that they shouldn’t even have been responsible for, the boys could have spent time in school, earned degrees, and made at least five times more than working on the plantation.  If Mr. and Mrs. Oyama would have ended the brutal cycle, the family would have been pulled from the debt much sooner than the twenty years that Toshio hypothesized that it would take.

            Mrs. Oyama wanted the best for her sons, she wanted them to be educated and successful once their duties to the family had been completed.  What she does not see though is that they are continuing the cycle that has kept their family down since she came to America to marry Mr. Oyama and start the family.  She, like many of the other Japanese-American families in Hawaii at the time thought that living by their culture and its rules is the more important than anything else.   She was a proud Japanese citizen, too proud to realize that she could have been the one to change the direction her family was headed in by not worrying about the debt and sending her sons to college to make a name for the family.

            I try to imagine life in Hawaii as a Japanese-American during the depression.  How horrible it was for those children, knowing nothing except whatever lies between the plantation and the ocean.  The young boys being forced to quickly become men, skip their young adulthood, immediately go to work for their parents in the fields, and not even keep 50% of what they made.  It is understandable that their parents had a huge amount of debt during that period, I doubt if there were many families that didn’t.  But for them to bring their Japanese culture to a totally new country and use that to hold their boys down is very shameful.  What did Mr. and Mrs. Oyama expect when moving to a United States territory?  Freedom is what they found but they were definitely not ready for it.

            All Toshio and Kiyoshi had wanted was their bodies.  To be able to do whatever they wanted with them and not feel as if they had let their family down.  If their parent’s would have opened their minds as Toshio had told them many times they would have realized that they could have been the ones to end the cycle.  They had two intelligent boys who wanted to be educated and worked hard to become professional boxers since an education was out of the picture and almost made it.  Those boys had a lot of will power and could have done great things if it weren’t for the culture that there parent’s loved so much holding them down.

All I Asking for is My Body Part III Dialogue

What do you think about the ending?

The ending to the book seems like it is cut short, and you are left out of the ending of a good story.  But what Part III of the book is about is the struggles that Kiyoshi faced in dealing with the families debt and the ending makes you realize that.  Much of Part III of the book speaks of smaller stories, which all in some way impact the main point of the part; the families debt situation, which worries Kiyoshi, whose mother tells Toshio the debt would be Kiyoshi's to worry about.  Although it is not mentioned much throughout the part, Kiyoshi does worry about the debt, and the fact that he will be living for his parent's debt for 10-15 years.  Kiyoshi doesn't share his worries throughout Part III because he was raised to be a strong man, to always be samurai, and to hold all of his complaints in.
I was disappointed with the ending when I finished the book. what built up to the ending left me wanting to go off to war with Kiyoshi and see what World War II was like from a nisei's perspective.  After considering it though, and realizing what the story was about I feel content with the ending.  Imagine going through that struggle; being robbed of your childhood; forced to work to pay your parent's debt; going off to war only to get off of the plantation that you have called home for years, knowing you'll make the same amount of money either way.  Kiyoshi didn't even speak of nervousness about going to war, or traveling, which he's never done before.  The only thing he worried about was doing what he felt was the right thing, paying off his parent's debt.
The ending shows how noble of a person Kiyoshi is.  He obviously cared about his own life, but knew that if doing what his mother wanted him to do, he wouldn't have a life and would be repaying his parents debt until he's too old to live his life.  Going off to war he knows he will be able to give his parents the same he would give them if he was on the plantation.  He reassures himself that it's the right thing to make everyone happy by ensuring the insurance will pay off his parent's debt if the worst happens and he dies.

All I Asking for is My Body Part II Dialogue

Kiyoshi belives Obanan is a substitute for his mom, because of the supersititions that he picked up from his mom.  Kiyoshi's mother was more superstitious than most others on the plantations that they had lived on.  Superstitious about everything, whether it be about cutting and cooking food before the New Year, or scooping two scoops of rice into each bowl for protection.  Kiyoshi never wanted to believe the superstitions that his mother often spoke of, mainly because his father so easily put them off and had the attitude that luck comes and goes, whether it be bad or good.
As Kiyoshi's mother began to get sick, she began telling him of more superstitions that she believes in, mainly superstitions about death.  When his mother tells him of Bachi, Kiyoshi begins to believe in his mother's superstitions, and he believes that the Bachi will take her life.
Once Kiyoshi spoke with Obanan, his fears were confirmed, his mother was soon to die.  Sure, Obanan told Kiyoshi that it was possible to have the Bachi passed onto someone else, but Kiyoshi didn't think that would happen.  The next day, as Kiyochi's father walked in the class, he was sure that he was about to hear the worst news possible.  But when he heard that it was Obanan who had passed, he had realized that the Bachi was passed on to her.  Since the story played out how it did, Kiyoshi had no choice but to believe in the Bachi superstition, because it played out exactly how he was told it could play out.

Writing Topic: Chapter 34 The Semicolon

     In chapter 34 of Rules for Writers the main focus is the correct use of semicolons.  The chapter teaches that a semicolon should be used "between closely related independent clauses not joined with a coordinating conjunction."(291)  Usually, when more than one related independent clause is used in one sentence, it is linked with a coordinating conjuction; still there are times that the relation between the clauses is clear and there is no need for a coordinating conjunction, that's when you'd use a semicolon.  The chapter also tells us that the semicolon must be used instead of a comma when a coordinating conjuction is omitted.
     Another instance the chapter teaches that it is okay to use a semicolon in is between independent clauses linked with a transitional expression (conjuctive adverbs or transitional phrases).  When a transitional phrase is used, such as "in fact," the semicolon would be used before that and the transitional phrase is usually followed by a comma.  When using the semicolon with a conjuctive adverb, the semicolon would go between the clauses.  Semicolons should also be used between items when listing a series containing internal punctuation, using semicolons over commas in these instances help the reader sort out the major groupings in the sentence.  The final part of this chapter focuses on avoiding misuse of the semicolon.  In most of these instances the semicolon that is corrected in the example is replaced by a comma, susch as between an appositive and the word it refers to, or between a subordinate clause and the rest of the sentence.
     The information contained in this chapter will help me tremendously in tightening my sentences and avoiding run-ons.  The semicolon has always been something that has interested me, but I never knew the correct use for it.  Now that I know how to appropriately use the semicolon, I feel that my sentences will come out appearing a lot tighter, and they will be easier to follow for the readers.

All I Asking Ffr is My Body Part 1 Dialogue

     Makot is a boy that is Kiyoshi's older brother Toshio's age.  Toshio calls Makot "General of the kids," because Makot is the leader of the gang of kids three years younger than him.  Makot hangs out with younger kids because he was always made fun of by the kids his age, so, in turn, he buys the friendship of kids younger than him.  Makot says that he has gone through a lot of younger kids and they all eventually "quit him," but Kiyoshi and the other two his age didn't quit Makot because they're too stupid.  I believe the reason Makot's peers make fun of him so much is because of Makot's parents, the first part of the book doesn't get into detail about them, but it seems like something fishy is going on with them and they are very embarrassing to Makot.
     I do feel sorry for Makot since he is bullied by the children his age.  If it weren't for the way he was raised, I'm sure Makot would be a normal boy like Toshio or other boys his age but he wasn't so he's an outcast.  The way Makot copes with his parents is by forming something like a family in the gang of younger boys.  He buys the gang "chow fun," brings them to the movies, and feeds them good lunch so they'll hang around him; he knows none of their families have the money to give them those things so the boys will be more attracted to him.  I think Makot just doesn't know how to make friends, or how to deal with people and it all boils down to the way he was raised.  It's not very apparent what they do from reading only the first part of the book, but they seem to a lot different than the parents of the other young boys.

Essay 3 Workshop

                     Robinson

Servais

Eng 100

10 Nov 2010

A child growing up watching the “perfect” American child every Sunday morning on television can make that child seem like he/she isn’t “perfect” and never will be.  That’s how it was growing up for Lovey; every time she turned on the television she was subjected to images of “perfect” American children, which forced her to realize she was not the “perfect” American child.  This is one of the many struggles that Lovey faced growing up as a poor Hawaiian; one that made her feel as if she couldn’t draw positive emotions out of a single soul; the worst struggle a child can face.

            Watching Shirley Temple on the television is something that made Lovey cry every time she watched her; the story lines, the acting.  It made Lovey feel as if she were there, helplessly watching that perfect little girl in the most unfortunate of circumstances.  But somehow every week that little girl pulled through and was reunited with her loved ones.  Lovey knows that everyone else watching shares the same feelings she does; holding back tears because there are others watching in the room. 

            The girl, with her bright eyes and blond ringlets, a girl that was obviously loved by anyone who set eyes on her, made Lovey think very low of herself.  Lovey, who could not even make a proper sentence felt that she was well below standard to all Americans when watching this beautiful young girl on the television.  Her teacher did not help with the situation, making all of his students feel little every time he spoke by telling them that they will never be able to make anything of themselves by the way they talk.  Lovey could not do anything about this, she was who she was; a poor Hawaiian girl who was raised around other poor Hawaiians, they didn’t speak or live like the average American.

            At Sunday School,  Lovey and her friend Jerry would make alternate endings to the ends of shows that they didn’t have enough time to watch.  They made happy endings, endings like the ones that they were sure the show had.  These endings made Lovey both happy, and sad.  Sad because she knew that she would never be able to draw the kind of emotions that she was so sure Shirley drew at the end of each show.   

            This wasn’t the only show that made Lovey feel like a substandard American.  The Checkers and Pogo Show; with all of the “rich Honolulu kids,” trying to look honest for their spot as the Unbirthday Child was another thing Lovey knew she would never experience.  This was a totally different way the media had affected Lovey. 

            The Checkers and Pogo Show made Lovey realize, and attempt to cope with the fact that she was from a poor family; the fact that she would never make it to that show to win $0.57 had a larger effect than it should have and Lovey knew it.  It wasn’t the show that Lovey wanted to be on though, it was the atmosphere that the show created, being around all of the happy kids acting like happy kids is something that Lovey wanted more than going to Honolulu to be on that show.

            Lovey finally got what she wanted on her birthday when Jerry gave her the birthday present that she had always wanted: a ticket to The Checkers and Pogo Show.  Of course it wasn’t a real ticket to the show, but it was something that made Lovey realize that someone wanted her to be as happy as the children on the show.  Lovey had a lot of fun with Jerry, and he took very good care of her as a friend, giving her exactly what he knew would make her happy.

This Is What It Means To Say Phoenix, Arizona Dialogue

Are you more impressed with the film or the
story?  Why? 
     The film Smoke Signals, was filled with more detail than this weeks reading that's why I was more impressed with the film.  From the beginning of the movie, I was drawn in by the house fire and Thomas Builds-The-Fire's speaking which got me instantly hooked on the film, the story just didn't have the same impact as the film for me.  The emotions, stereotypes, and personalities were so much easier to comprehend in the movie than the vague descriptions in the story. 
     The storyline in the movie is another part that had me more drawn in and impressed than the reading.  The house fire during the 4th of July, along with Thomas'  narrarations of how he and Victor burn everything they touch to the ground, and fall apart when anything touches them are a perfect way to start the film about this story.  I was disappointed in the lack of detail that the reading had, although I understand that there was a lot of information to cover in the few pages that was written.  It was missing the things that I remembered the movie by; the girls driving backwards, the house fire, the woman at Victor's fathers home, the anger.  I'm certain if this was a whole book to read, I would be more happy with it, but due to the limit the author had, I am unimpressed with the reading after watching the film.